Date: 2008-03-18 10:02 Subject: Delusions of Grandeur (part of the Delusional series) Security: Public Tags: author: sweetmelodykiss, lupin/snape, nc-17, see warnings, wip

Title: Delusions of Grandeur (part 1 of 2)
Part of the Delusional series
Author: sweetmelodykiss
Pairing: Lupin/Snape
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: Violence, mentions of rape in this part, Mpreg
Category: Fic, AU, H/C, Violence, Rape, WIP, Part three in the series
Summary: Picks up where Shared Delusions left off.
Word Count: 2897
Disclaimer: I do not own them.
Unbeta’d

Part 1-Delusional

Part 2-Delusions Shared



At nearly eight months pregnant, Severus was really starting to show. Actually, Severus thought he looked like he’d swallowed a beach ball, but Lupin kept insisting that he was beautiful. Severus would, of course, scoff and glare at the idiot werewolf. He was ugly before, but now, he was fat and ugly. Nothing could change that, not gentle kisses from an over-amorous lycanthrope or the fussing of irritating Gryffindor teenager.

Potter was becoming a nuisance, far worse than even Molly Weasley was, but for the first time in Severus’ life, he felt as though someone truly cared for him. It took some time for Severus to adjust to his newfound popularity. Inside, he felt like it was only because of Black’s bastard child. A child that kicked, rolled and sat on is bladder twenty-four hours a day. Severus’ ankles swelled and his back hurt constantly. He had to sleep propped up every night just to keep the blasted heartburn at bay.

Remus came in handy at certain times, rubbing his back, ankles and prick, but not necessarily in that order. They’d learned to talk to each other and they knew they had some decisions to make about the baby’s future. Severus was adamant about not keeping it, but Remus was slowly breaking down his resistance with visions of a happy family life. Remus regaled him with tales of the four of them living in a little cottage by the sea. Four, meaning the Potter brat too, but Severus’ life was just too jaded to be swayed by pictures of an idyllic family life.

"I wish we could leave Grimmauld Place, Severus. I’d love to take you to the ocean and far away from this madness."

"You know that’s not possible. The war is escalating and I feel useless. All I can do is sit here like a giant lump and do nothing. At least you get to go on a few missions for the order. You are contributing to the war effort. What am I doing? What good am I?" Severus asked. The self-loathing was plainly evident in his voice.

"You’re the future of the wizarding world, Severus. You’re carrying a new life inside you. You are contributing more than anyone else."

"Don’t be an idiot. This abomination you call the future of the wizarding world began its life from an act of hate and violence. Black despised me and he still does. This child means nothing to me. It’s a constant reminder of the torment Black put me through and if I had the chance, I’d hex Black into oblivion, skin him alive or torture him until he begged for death."

"I’m sorry, Severus. I didn’t mean to upset you. I just think you should reconsider giving the child up for adoption. He would have a loving and stable home with us and he’s part of you, Severus. I’d like him to be part of us. I love you and I’ll love this baby like my own child. You must believe me."

"I do believe you, but I don’t want it. I don’t even like children. What kind of parent would I be to a child whose father raped me?"

"I don’t know, Severus. I just wish you would think about this some more. Do you really want a child of yours to be raised by strangers?" Remus asked.

He did have a point there. As Severus snuggled close to his lover, he thought about Remus’ words and his dreams conjured images of a happy child with dark eyes, frolicking by a seaside cottage.

The next morning, Harry arrived via the secure floo connection that Albus had created to go back and forth between Hogwarts and Grimmauld Place. He stumbled out of the fireplace and landed flat on his face at Remus’ feet. He seemed quite upset and tears streaked his soot-darkened face.

"Dear Merlin, Harry, what’s the matter?" Remus asked as he helped the young man to his feet. He waved his wand and cleaned Harry up, sitting him down gently on the sofa.

Harry took a deep breath and hiccupped once before speaking. "It’s… It’s Sirius." The boy sobbed.

"What happened? Is he all right? Is he injured?" Remus couldn’t hide the worry that had crept into his voice.

Sniffling, Harry replied, "He’s gone, Remus. He’s gone."

Remus gasped, "Gone, as in dead?"

Harry saw the fear in his surrogate father’s eyes. "No, no, he’s not dead, Remus. He escaped from St. Mungo’s some time last night. No one knows where he is. Professor Dumbledore thinks he used his animagus form to get out, but he’s not even sure about that. All they know is that he’s gone. They’re using tracking spells to locate him, but so far, there’s been no luck. Dumbledore says if he’s still in animagus form, they won’t be able to track him. Where would he go, Remus?" Harry asked in desperation.

The fear Remus had initially felt instantly turned to anger. His only priority was Severus and the baby and if Sirius came any where near his lover, he’d kill him on sight. He tried to keep his voice even as he responded to Harry’s question, but it was difficult. "I don’t know, Harry. I just hope he doesn’t come here, even though this is his home. It would be a foolish mistake. I will not be held responsible for my actions if Sirius comes near Severus. Do you understand, Harry?"

Harry nodded gravely. He did understand perfectly and he hoped to God that he’d be able to find his Godfather before Remus did.

Harry stayed that weekend at Grimmauld Place. It was the weekend of the full moon and Remus needed him. He had to be strong for Professor Snape’s sake. He and Remus decided it was best not to tell Severus about Sirius’ escape. There was no need to add more stress to Severus’ life. Remus carefully strengthened the wards around Grimmauld Place, just to be on the safe side. Any added stress could prove detrimental to Severus’ health at this stage in his pregnancy.

However, Severus noticed the boy’s sullen attitude. He fixed them both dinner and didn’t say two words through the whole meal. Normally, the boy wouldn’t shut up. Over time, Severus became acclimated to the incessant chatter and so now, he realized that he liked Potter better when he was rambling on about nothing.

"Is there a problem, Mr. Potter?" Severus asked.

Harry looked up from his dinner that he’d hardly touched. "Um.. er… no, sir, there is no problem."

"I see. Then why aren’t you eating your dinner?"

"I had a big lunch, sir and I’m just not very hungry." Harry answered with a weak smile.

"Uh huh, but that doesn’t explain why you’re so quiet this evening."

"I’m just tired, Professor. I’ve had a bit of a difficult week at school and there’s been more Death Eater attacks on muggle villages."

Severus didn’t say any more. He decided to let the boy brood in silence and he didn’t entirely believe Potter’s story either. The brat was definitely hiding something. So, after dinner, Severus wasn’t surprised when Harry retired to his room early. Severus wasn’t ready to go to bed yet. He’d slept late and he wanted to talk to someone, but the brat wasn’t cooperating tonight.

Severus got up from the sofa and headed upstairs to his room, but he stopped outside the room Remus used when he was in wolf form. Severus still hadn’t seen his lover during the full moon. Remus insisted on hiding from him during that time. Severus thought it was ridiculous and he needed company tonight badly. His hand was on the doorknob before he could stop himself. He opened the door and entered the room quietly.

The wolf was lying on the bed, seemingly asleep, but its head shot up when Severus entered. Moony seemed startled by the sudden presence of his mate and he started to whine as Severus approached the bed.

"Oh, stop being an idiot. You’re perfectly safe and I’m lonely. The brat’s not talking tonight and he went to bed early." Severus said with a sigh.

He sat down on the bed next to the wolf and snaked a hand through his soft fur. The wolf relaxed and leaned into his touch. That was nice. Severus decided he liked petting the wolf. It seemed to have a calming effect on him and Moony definitely appreciated it especially when Severus scratched behind his ears.

"Why don’t you come back in our room for tonight? I don’t feel like being alone and our room is more comfortable."

Severus got up and headed down the hall. He didn’t need to look back or prod Remus again. He knew his mate would follow.

The next morning, Harry rushed into Severus’ bedroom in a panic. "Sir, wake up, please. Remus is missing… oops."

"Oops, is correct, Mr. Potter. As you can see, Remus is not missing."

"I’m so sorry. I went to check on him and when I couldn’t find him, I got scared." Harry replied looking quite flushed.

Remus groaned and rolled closer to his mate, but he didn’t wake up. Severus smirked at the boy’s obvious discomfort.

"I’ll leave you two alone now." Harry said backing out of the room still blushing.

After he’d gone, Severus chuckled, "Stupid boy."

"Hmm," Remus groaned still groggy with sleep.

"Potter thought you’d gone missing. Where the hell did he think you’d go? He knows you rarely ever leave my side unless Albus sends you into werewolf country."

Remus opened one eye and nuzzled Severus’ neck. "He’s just high strung right now. The order thinks Voldemort is planning an attack on Hogwarts. All the signs are there and Albus is preparing for battle."

"Are you going to join them?"

"I’m not sure. Albus hasn’t asked me yet, but I will if necessary."

"That’s what I thought." Severus didn’t like the idea, but he knew he would not be able to stop a determined Gryffindor, nor would a determined Gryffindor be able to stop a sly Slytherin. One way or another, if they had to stand and fight, they would do it together.

~~~~~~

Saturday morning dawned cloudy and rainy. Sirius Black didn’t know where to go. He didn’t know what to do. He was so lost and confused. He roamed the hillside looking for shelter from the driving rain that pelted down on him. He suddenly remembered the cave he’d hidden in last year and he headed in that direction. At least it would provide some shelter from the storm.

He sat huddled toward the back of the cave shivering with cold. His fur coat kept him somewhat warm, but he was soaked through now and he hadn’t eaten in almost two days, not since his escape from St. Mungo’s. Sirius couldn’t risk changing back into his human form. If he did, they would find him. They would take him back and never let him out. This was Sirius’ only chance at freedom and he had to take it, but he wanted to let Harry know that he was all right before leaving the country. Somehow, he’d have to sneak into Hogwarts, so he could see his Godson one last time.

Harry had told him that Remus and Severus were living at Grimmauld Place. He couldn’t risk going there, not after what he’d done to Severus. Harry had also told him that Severus was pregnant with his child. He wanted to see Severus and tell him how sorry he was, even though he still didn’t remember what happened that night. He would like to be part of the child’s life, but in reality, he knew that would never be possible. His only consolation was the knowledge that Remus would be there for his child and that he’d take good care of him. For that, Sirius was eternally grateful.

The following morning the sun was out once more and Padfoot made a quick snack of a passing rat. He kept to the shadows and stayed just inside the tree line as he made his way down to Hogwarts. Sirius waited until sunset before snaking through the hidden tunnel that led into the deep dungeons. Once inside, Padfoot headed straight for Gryffindor Tower.

Padfoot came to an abrupt halt in the hallway leading to the Gryffindor common room. Albus was standing in front of the Fat Lady’s portrait having a heated discussion with Minerva and they were both clearly distressed.

"What are we going to do, Albus? This is a disaster. We must attempt a rescue. We’ve got to get the boy back."

“Yes, yes, I know and I’m calling in every favor ever owed to me, but we don’t know where they’ve taken the boy. I assure you, I’m doing everything possible to get him back safely."

"What about Remus and Severus? Have you told them the news yet? Severus might be able to help. He knows most of the Death Eater hiding places."

"You make a good point, Minerva, but I’m afraid of telling Severus something like this in his condition. Madam Pompfrey said that any undue stress could cause him to go into premature labor. If that happens, Severus and the child could die."

"Blast it, Albus! We must do something."

"Come to my office, Minerva. We shouldn’t be discussing this out in the hallway."

Padfoot didn’t wait to hear any more. He dashed back the way he’d come and left through the hidden tunnel. He was losing his mind with grief. Harry… his Harry, kidnapped by Death Eaters. He had to do something. He had to get help. So, he went to the only place he knew he could find the help he needed--Grimmauld Place.

~~~~~~

Sunday morning was Severus and Remus’ day to lie in bed, but like most days, sleeping never entered their minds. Remus’ naked chest spooned up against his lover’s back as he ran a slick finger up and down the crack of Severus’ ass.

Severus moaned in appreciation and thrust his puckered hole back toward the teasing finger. "Are you going stroke my ass all day, wolf, or are you going to fuck me sometime soon?” Severus drawled.

Remus growled, "Gods, yes, I want you, but I don’t want to hurt you, Severus."

"You won’t hurt me. Just stay in that position and take me from behind, and do it soon before you kill the mood. I really don’t feel like hexing you today, but I will if necessary."

Remus laughed, "If you insist." Remus pushed one finger into Severus’ ass gently, stroking in and out and just barely tickling Severus’ sensitive prostrate. He took his time before adding a second finger. He slowly stretched his lover, scissoring his fingers back and forth until he could easily slip in a third finger.

Severus groaned, "Get on with, will you?"

"Are you sure, love?" Remus asked tilting his lover’s head to kiss him softly. Severus’ eyes shone with passion and he finally gasped, "Please."

Remus couldn’t hold back any longer. He positioned his cock at Severus’ entrance and nudged gently. When he felt the tight ring of muscles give way, he pushed again. Inch by agonizing inch, Remus gradually worked his cock all the way into Severus’ ass until he was buried balls deep. The feeling was electric. Surrounded by Severus’ tight heat, Remus held perfectly still, just basking in the warmth of his lover‘s body, but Severus had other ideas. He pulled off Remus’ cock before Remus could even protest and then slammed his ass back forcefully. "Jesus, Severus!" Remus shouted in ecstasy.

"Fuck me then, you miserable prat." Severus snarled as he geared up for another backwards plunge. But this time Remus grabbed hold of his hips and held him in place as he began to thrust in and out of his lover’s ass. He took his time, increasing the strength and speed of his thrusts gradually. He sucked on Severus’ shoulder while he plunged his cock deeper and deeper into Severus hole with sure, steady strokes. The moans from the room increased in ferocity as the two lovers reached new heights of passion.

Remus couldn’t reach Severus cock, but Severus was doing a good job of stroking himself while Remus rammed into him like a freight train running at full speed. The fire built rapidly until both men exploded in a pool of sweat and come.

"Bloody hell," Severus gasped out as Remus shuddered inside him and went limp.

Remus held Severus close, stroking his distended belly gently as he whispered in his ear, "I love you, I love you, Severus."

And in the haze of the afterglow, Severus turned in Remus’ arms and kissed him sweetly, echoing Remus’ earlier sentiment, "I love you too."

Both men drifted peacefully back to sleep, wrapped in the security of each other’s arms.

To Be continued in Delusions of Grandeur (part 2)